NOVEMBER: Season of Thankfulness

I am thankful to be alive every single day. This is the biggest! The #1 thing for me, because without it, I would not be here to find and share gratitude in the world. Sounds obvious but realizing this daily enabled me to access a buried part of myself. Very basic, but powerful. Saying “thank you” each morning has changed my life. Am I in a perky, joyous state of life every minute of every day??? Certainly not, but I can tell you starting with a happy attitude of gratitude each day sets me up for success and opens my heart. Previously I would wake up with two thoughts,

#1. Did I drink too much last night? Mentally checking my level of morning brain fog.

#2. Immediately started pondering all the things I didn’t want to do that day and if I was mad at Dan or not!

Sounds pathetic right? It was my reality and the crummy place I was operating from. I had created some awful habits and scenarios for myself. Could I articulate this then? NOPE! I was living in a world of denial, numbing rituals, hiding and pouting. I was 100% in “poor me mode”, and being disgusted with myself. I would stuff myself with all kinds of food, then immediately have self hatred, disappointment, sadness and depression.

I was without hope. Hope for what? A better attitude, different daily situation, a healthier body, self-confidence, healing, progress, energy, on and on ... the list was endless.

At 332 lbs. I was “settling” for so much less than I deserved. By beginning to change and focusing on opportunity and growth, gratitude rose to the surface. I was grateful for the opportunity to be better, get better and start again. The harder I worked the more I realized how deserving I actually was. I had let old junk from childhood and my past keep me sad, defeated and scared.

When I realized I was killing myself, I rose up to FIGHT myself for MYSELF! See, when I got honest inside, I could see; it was all my responsibility. It was up to me to seek help, to decide to change, to be willing to recognize the mess and actually work my way out! I was so tired of being afraid, ashamed and defeated. Yep, I had finally gotten so sick of myself I couldn’t not stand it another second.

I had been living in an obese body for so long I knew I needed help. My whole body ached, hurt and was incredibly weak. So, I reached out for help and hired a personal/private fitness trainer. I knew I needed to learn how to move this damaged body. This was the scariest thing I have ever done. I had to enable myself to become vulnerable and trust. Seeking help changed my whole life!

Eventually I learned that being thankful for the awful or uncomfortable experiences big and small we all encounter daily, weekly, monthly and moment by moment, teaches us so many powerful lessons. Being mad, aggressive, negative, inconvenienced and impatient only hurts us and keeps us from seeing bigger opportunities for love, kindness and growth.

Let’s look at gratitude and how it shows up in your life. Do you see the places, relationships and opportunities in your life that you may take for granted? I know when I slowed my world and focused on myself the level of gratefulness blew up for me. I have never been able or ready to really take stock of the tiniest of experiences that are huge opportunities for thankfulness and gratitude. Being proud, happy and excited about the nooks and crannies of my days got me hooked on changing so those became BIGGER than my self-destructive thinking.  I began to recognize all the "good things" I was mastering for myself that it became fun to acknowledge the good.

Forgiveness showed up for me in many areas when I became grateful and willing to change my perspectives. This became one of the biggest pieces of healing for me if not the ultimate! It is possible to shift into a life of forgiveness.

So many life experiences come from gratitude and willingness. I had no idea how much I had to offer the world, my loved ones and most of all myself until I changed my focus. Along this long road to life change I have learned to forgive, be patient, heal, “work” on new levels, and love.

When I got honest with my situation, I had 2 choices ... stay stuck in the struggle or CHANGE IT!  I chose CHANGE! What I didn’t know is I would literally progress into changing almost everything about in my life is so many ways. 

Wherever you find yourself today, try starting each day with a simple whispered ... “Thank you,” when you wake up. Your view will begin to change, your inner voice will become clearer, your heart will soften and eventually you will see new paths and opportunities for incredible growth.

You may be dealing with awful life circumstances right now that you have to work through, please remember, “this too shall pass.”  Our happiest of times pass, our saddest most shocking times pass, so try to hang onto hope.  If you can find the tiniest bit of gratitude, cling to it. The simplicity of this enabled me to grow, change and soar. It is not too late to change direction. You deserve health, self-confidence, safety, forgiveness and joy!

Happy Thankfulness Month

This is a great time to begin change for yourself. Typically we all settle into this holiday season as, “one last blow out,” because January 1 we will start a lifestyle change and create a new life. 

DON'T WAIT! How about start now and eliminate some extra pounds and damage you will need to work on later.

Another great idea is to ask for my coaching package for Christmas this year instead of more “items” we really don’t need at our age!

 I have availability for a few new clients in my coaching calendar. Contact me for information and a quick zoom chat to learn more.

-phoebe